Dad is living in the past and he is a technophobe
My dad is a total technophobe. He lives in the past. You can’t go past that. Pardon the pun, but it was too good to let to go.
My name is Oliver, I’m 9 years old and I have a dad that is hopeless with technology. Really! A Neanderthal would be better at using a tablet than he is. He still listens to cassette tapes in the car. Cassette tapes! When I first saw them I googled them. They are strange. It takes forever when you want to skip through the songs. And at the end you have to turn it around to listen to the other side. He might as well install a record player, like Gramps one in the attic.
I kind of got used to his antics. Everything new is bad. By the time he decided to upgrade the house phone, it was already out of date. Who has a house phone anyway? Ours has buttons, but it is still connected to the wall with a cord. When he is on the phone he creates a trip hazard. My sis whet ankle over one day just because of that cord across the room. The dog almost strangled itself chasing the ball.
So when Christmas came last year we all chipped in and brought dad a phone. Common, they aren’t that expensive anymore. I can still hear him when he got it: “the technology in this phone is far more advance than back in the days when Neil Armstrong walked on the moon!” We bought him an old iPhone 3 from the second hand dealer for $10. Bargain!
That’s one thing that my dad is good at. He isn’t expensive when it comes to buying him a phone or a tablet. The old stuff that barely works is fine. He then walks around the room for hours and mumbles incoherent stuff. Occasionally I can make up a word, like ‘how the hell’ or ‘what does this one do?’. Then things go on the blink for him. It usually takes me 5 seconds to get it working again.
And this is why I reckon my dad is best served in a museum where he can indulge himself in the past. I love him very much. He is great at teaching us how to make a fire and how to survive in the snow. Not that it matters here in Australia. He can change a tire in a few minutes and get the lawn mower going when no one else would. But give him a device that has a screen. Boing! That doesn’t work.
I sent him once a text to see if he still picks me up from school. He replied: “Iwllb onnyw in%M*N&T#s!”. Of course it didn’t make sense. He still picked me up. He wanted to say that he’ll be there in 5 minutes. We had a bit of a laugh. Dad is still the best, as long as you don’t involve technology.
That’s whey I say, he lives in the past.