Sam the self-proclaimed royal cat of San Francisco
May I introduce, ME! Everybody, this is me. You can call me Sam. I rule this castle in the hills of San Francisco.
Sam is just a short form. My full name is Royal Ruler, Sir Samalot the first, Monarch and King of the lands between dining room and master bedroom. I have two servants, Steve and Jane. They are to to bring me fine foods from the far, far away lands of shopping centre. I use them as pillows and make sure the furniture in my land has my mark on it.
It is important for everyone to know where they belong to. I have my kingdom. I have no interest in other servants business. They live in a place they call San Francisco. Sometimes it is also referred to as the City. No ten horses can drag me out there. I can see this San Francisco place from my living room window. The place is a mess. Servants are walking the streets. The streets themselves are very steep. That doesn’t look like fun at all. Some days it is wet, other days it is hot. Before you know it chaos out there. You see servants in tin boxes being chased by other servants in tin boxes with red and blue lights. I’ve been told they call them cars. Silly!
I on the other hand have a whole kingdom. My floor is flat and it’s never wet here and never hot. Why would anyone ever find the need to go into San Francisco? No Royal Emperor or King is required to lower themselves into such a situation. That’s why there are servants. I see the servants a lot. Up and down the street. They have to catch food for their kings. That’s right. I let them have their privileges as well. In the evening, when they return from their food gathering trim into the city, I let them feed me and then I let them sit on the sofa watching out a fake window. They call it television. It must be fascinating, because they do that a lot.
The servants have their own bed. So do I but theirs is much bigger. So I sleep there most of the times. One day Steve, the male servant wanted to kick me off. I swiped him hard across the calf and left my mark there, permanently. He never did that again. You have to put them into place from time to time.
I also have a throne. The servants call it a ‘window sill’. Silly! They go: “Oh look, Sam is on the window sill again.” I give them ‘oh look’. This is my throne. I role my vast land from here. I roll on my back and ponder what I get for dinner. Tuna with turkey liver pate? I like that. I do most my ruling from here. This is the best place in San Francisco. There is no way I’m going to give that up any time soon.
Life is good