The Queen and her Corgi. Living the high life of a Royal
Welcome to the high life of a Royal. In this case we have a look at the Queen herself. Being a Queen has its perks. I mean I can’t contemplate what is going on behind those doors of the Royal Palace. She is always her best. Period.
We see the Queen in the finest clothes there are in the Queendom. She dines with the finest people ion the most exquisite establishments that only serve food from the most exotic corners of the world. Her staff is handpicked by the finest and most loyal staff. It’s a family affair and it has been going for generations. Even her pets are the best of the best. Corgis of the finest bloodline there is in the known dog world.
The Queen loves her Corgis. They are all part of her family. For generations they have been bred from the same bloodline. Now you might think this is a recipe for disaster and inbreeding! Well, let me tell you this. The Corgis the Queen has today are 98% genetically identical to Susan, her first Corgi. Surely that can’t be good for the dogs.
Todays Corgis are in perfect health. No glupsch eyes, weird extra legs or irregular hair growth. Physically there is nothing wrong with the Queens Corgis. But there is one thing. You knew there is something coming. And you’re right. It’s their poops. Every generation of Corgi their poop has grown. They also eat a bit more each generation. However, they aren’t fatter than the first lot of Corgi. They just poop more.
By pooping more I mean a lot more. Their poop is huge. One would say its ginormous, monstrous or mountainous. It is so large that even the staff has started to refuse to clean after the Queens Corgis. They find excuses to do other things instead of following the Queen with a wheelbarrow and shovel. Instead the staff rallied together and donated the Queen a set of golden pooperscoopers.
Now on rare occasion one might see the Queen out and about walking her favourite Corgi in a park all by herself. Locals usually vacate the park. Because once the Corgi is releasing the daily poop, the park is empty. Only unsuspecting tourists get caught in the stink. Even the Environmental Protection Agency knows about it and refuses to deal with it. Some call it chemical warfare.
It is left up to the Queen to deal with the situation. She uses her golden scoops and dolefully moves the mountain of offending poop. This very rare picture of the Queen in action was taken by a former septic tank cleaner, Fernando. He has been working knee deep in poop for almost five decades. To his account he didn’t know anything about the Corgi poops. All he saw was the Queen walking her dog. He took a photo when it started to unfold in front of him.
At first it didn’t register with him. From a safe distance the Royal staff was unable to warn him. Soon the sharp stench of Corgi poop crawled up Fernandos nose. He froze. Lucky for us his finger was still on the camera and took this unique image.
Fernando has never recovered and is believed to live on the foothills of the Himalayas these days.