We go shopping at Christmas

We’re off to the shops and the annual Christmas shopping. Everything is planned to the minute detail. There is nothing that can go wrong today. The shopping list is written and the car is ready. Today is the day and we will get it all done before everyone is at the shops.

The clock ticks over to the six o’clock news and I get up. I need a coffee right now. I didn’t sleep all night. This is the last day of shopping before the shops close for almost 36 hours. All had to be planned to the minute. There will be chaos at the shops. But not for us. We are prepared and ready to beat the last minute shopping rush.

The kids are still in bed and so is the husband. Don’t worry, first thing’s first, coffee. I need a strong one, now. 6:15 and the first coffee is gone, kids still in bed and the husband has a wake up shower. Good. Time check, we are well on target. It’s going to be a hot day. The shops open at nine sharp and we will be there and gone before some are even out of bed.

Right, coffee for hubby and roll the kids out of bed. Breakfast for all, even for those who still sleep while getting dressed. The zombies of the morning. The 7:00 o’clock news are on and we are still on target. Two hours to go until the shops open their doors. The credit card is loaded, the shopping bags are already in the car, the dog is fed and happily playing in the back yard. It all goes to plan.

The route to the shopping centre is also planned out. We go the back way. This shaves four minutes off the driving time. Plus no one goes the back way in the morning. We’ll be front and centre when the doors open and we will be in and out in no time.

8:15 on the clock, breakfast time has been served. The complaints were modest and we are still set for a ripper time. It takes us 17 point 5 minutes to get to the carpark at the shopping centre. Last checks are completed and we start getting everyone into the car. Just keep calm and we’ll be there in no time.

That’s it, 8:40, everyone in the car without much complain. The seatbelt are on and I start the car with, no keys? KEYS! Who has the keys? A frantic search of the pockets reveals they are still on the kitchen table. And the doors are locked. Yep, our doors conveniently lock when you leave the house. Hail the modern technology. But no need to worry. The bathroom window is always open. However, my backside still hasn’t recovered from a few Christmases ago. So it is up to the youngest to rescue the shopping trip. He’s inside in no time.

He can’t find the keys. They aren’t on the kitchen table. Where are they then? Then it dawned on my. I put them onto the passenger seat and Hubby was sitting on them all the time. No feeling in his fat arse! Fantastic. All of us standing at the now open front door of the house and the car is locked, again, hail the modern technology. The keys are sitting pretty on the passenger seat.

No problems, I just call the locksmith, he’ll get them out in no time.


Christmas is cancelled this year.

The end


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